The Story Behind Uncomfortable
I wrote Uncomfortable and Keeping the Faith on the same day with the same thoughts in my head. Protests had broken out, and the higher ups weren’t doing nearly enough to address the reasons people were protesting.
I keep looking at them and thinking “The right thing to do would be to join them”. To this day, I haven’t, because I’m scared. I have anxiety, particularly about being with a lot of people I don’t know. Every time I think about going out there, I think of reasons not to.
“Where are they being held?” “Is it in a relatively safe part of the city?” “Is someone coordinating parking?” “Is it safe to take my things with me?” “What if the police start retaliating?” “What if I get arrested? Will that put my job in jeopardy?” “What if I don’t come home?”
That’s how my anxiety operates when I’m doing something new. As I wrote, it makes me uncomfortable. But “uncomfortable” only mildly describes how my brothers and sisters that have the courage to speak out feel. John Lewis was arrested over 20 times, but he kept trying, because it was important. It mattered.
It matters to me. One day, I hope I’ll have the courage to stand up for what’s right. I hope I can add my voice to theirs. Until then, I’m going to keep writing. Of a better world, of the problems with this one. I may not have courage, but I’ll always have hope.
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