Once I reached middle school, I rarely cared for any of the books I read in school. They were the “classics”, which meant they had a lot to teach about the art and craft of writing (something I appreciate now), but I didn’t care for the characters, plot, or setting. But my middle school had a program called “Reading Counts”, which let us check out a book from the library, read it, then answer a few questions about it, and that would count towards our English class.

This let me select books I enjoyed, one of which was A Wizard of Earthsea. I enjoyed it, never realizing that it was only the first book in a series. This past January, I got the entire collection, deciding I wanted to read all of it. Being in quarantine has helped expand my reading habits from non-existent to reading every day. I began it in January, and finished it at the end of October.

While I was reading the books, I’d been thinking about Skwyr Court. A lot of it came from the ideas I’d had in Girl in Red, but I kept asking “What makes this different?” At the time, not much. It was a standard story about teenagers growing up in a castle in a fantasy world, something that’s been done to death since the Harry Potter books were first published. It was when J.K. Rowling essentially claimed that trans women weren’t actually women that I had another idea. I wanted this world to include everyone.

Which brings me back to Earthsea. When Ursula K. Le Guin began writing it, as she said, it was fairly standard. The first big difference she made was not making the main character, Ged, white. When she reached her second book, The Tombs of Atuan, she made the main character female. There was a long gap between her third and fourth books in the series, and during that time, she began to rethink the ideas instilled in her about the standard tales. The brave man saving the damsel in distress, etc. And so she focused more on the women for the fourth book. She went against many of the stereotypes of the time, which haven’t faded away yet.

I’ve always been timid, something I don’t often see in male characters. That’s why Neville is the only male among my main four in Girl in Red, because he’s the character I wanted to follow. And female characters can do so much more than sit back and cheer on the men (as Rose, Hermione, and Luna have proven many times). I didn’t want Skwyr Court to be yet another story with the knight or powerful wizard defeating the villain in an awesome display of power. As Le Guin has written before, this doesn’t need to be the main plot.

As I read the books of Earthsea, I found that the fantasy story I wanted to follow was no longer Harry Potter, but Earthsea. A series that pushes the limits of the possible archetypes. I’m not saying that Skwyr’s going to be groundbreaking, because it’s simply not, but I want to focus more on problems real people encounter, putting them in a world of magic and wonder.

I wrote The Hawk’s Flight as a tribute to Le Guin, not only for showing me a world of wonder, but for showing me that my writing can push the boundaries of the familiar. And that’s exactly what I want to do.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

In Summer Nights on Church and Main, I mention Bobby. When I started going to Open Mic at FBC, he was in charge. He opened the night, he managed the list, and he was the guy to ask if I wanted to squeeze between two performers so I could get home in time to put my son to bed.

In August of 2019, Bobby got a job out of town, and thus was moving away. It was to be his last night at Open Mic, and I wanted to do something special. My first instinct was to sing (a rare occurrence from me), but I couldn’t sing any of the songs I wanted to perform.

There was one in particular, Never Too Far From Home, from Pokemon of all things, that I thought expressed how I felt about him leaving. He was going off to a new place, leaving his family, and I wanted to express that he’d always have a home with us. Something I’m sure he knew, given his parents, but I wanted to say it anyway.

That idea became A New Beginning.

Bobby comes back every so often to visit his parents, and stops by when he can. I love getting to hear him play, as I do with everyone at Open Mic. What amazed me at the time was how much my words meant to not only him, but everyone else. Now, a year later, he’s still doing alright. And as with everyone else, I look forward to seeing him again, and wish him the best.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

I wrote Uncomfortable and Keeping the Faith on the same day with the same thoughts in my head. Protests had broken out, and the higher ups weren’t doing nearly enough to address the reasons people were protesting.

I keep looking at them and thinking “The right thing to do would be to join them”. To this day, I haven’t, because I’m scared. I have anxiety, particularly about being with a lot of people I don’t know. Every time I think about going out there, I think of reasons not to.

“Where are they being held?” “Is it in a relatively safe part of the city?” “Is someone coordinating parking?” “Is it safe to take my things with me?” “What if the police start retaliating?” “What if I get arrested? Will that put my job in jeopardy?” “What if I don’t come home?”

That’s how my anxiety operates when I’m doing something new. As I wrote, it makes me uncomfortable. But “uncomfortable” only mildly describes how my brothers and sisters that have the courage to speak out feel. John Lewis was arrested over 20 times, but he kept trying, because it was important. It mattered.

It matters to me. One day, I hope I’ll have the courage to stand up for what’s right. I hope I can add my voice to theirs. Until then, I’m going to keep writing. Of a better world, of the problems with this one. I may not have courage, but I’ll always have hope.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

As I mentioned last week, I used to have problems controlling my anger. Now, I don’t even like getting angry. I try not to, I try to keep it all under control. But sometimes, things happen, and anger is the appropriate response.

In 2020, the year that never seems to end, there have been multiple incidents of African Americans dying in police custody. Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Jacob Blake, Daniel Prude, to name only a few (as of the start of October, and the year’s not over yet). Even after massive protests broke out earlier in the year, this kept happening.

I haven’t marched in the protests in my city. I donate to the ACLU, and while that’s something, it’s not a lot. We should all be doing more. I don’t mean to speak down to anyone or blame anyone. I hate the feeling that this is my fault, but that’s a fact. It’s everyone’s fault.

Many of us didn’t realize what was happening, but we’ve seen this before. For years, racism has been a part of our world. My town is no different, being predominately white. That’s not an accident, that was intentional, many years ago. We should’ve been asking “Why?” a long time ago. Why is it like this?

Knowing who’s at fault is only important because it tells us who is responsible for fixing it. We are all at fault, so it’s our responsibility to fix it. I can’t even say “my city’s not like that”, because Daniel Prude was from my city.

It’s up to us all to fix it. We can do it. Because as I said in Keeping the Faith, we are better than that.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

Growing up, I had problems controlling my anger. When I’d feel slighted, or that someone had broken the rules, I’d get angry. I’d lash out, yell, even get into fights. I didn’t think I could help it. The wave of anger would come on before I knew it was happening, and then it’d have control.

As children often do, I saw the world in simple terms. Being angry meant I was bad. As I grew older, that evolved from “bad” to “bad guy”. I was the bad guy, a villain, because good guys didn’t get angry like that.

I write a lot of poems as messages to myself and people like me. Anger is Okay is another such poem. I’m sure my parents tried to explain it to me, but it never stuck. But I hope my words will stick for someone else.

Anger doesn’t make you a villain, it makes you human. It might be hard to see when you’re the only one who reacts the way you do, but there’s nothing wrong with you. That’s what I’ve learned. And as I’ve grown, I’ve learned that I can control it. I still get angry, but I’ve found better ways to handle it than lashing out at people.

Most people that know me now have never seen me angry, not like I used to be. It got easier to manage as I grew up. I hope I can help other people see that too.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

I describe the past several months of my life as the COVID-19 Fever Dream. It’s not always bad, but it’s a far cry from good. The other day, I watched news reports from the start of the pandemic. I laughed at politicians saying “this will go away on its own” or “by July, we’ll be better than ever”.

Despite their optimism and lack of foresight, in August, it’s still going. In September, as I’m writing this, it’s still going. We still wear masks to go outside. We still can’t gather like we used to. There are no arts festivals that I love so much. Schools have reopened on a hybrid model (at least where my son goes to school).

In spite of the vast differences, looking back at the start of it, I was scared. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but seeing people pulling together gave me such hope for the future. Not just where we are, but where we’re going.

I wrote We’re Surviving Together to reflect that hope, and spread it to others that might be feeling hopeless. I know it’s hard, harder for most than it is for me, I imagine. But now is the time to stick together. Together, we can overcome anything. I know we can.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

In the past two years, I’ve been to four funerals or wakes. I always learn so much about people that I didn’t know before. How much they cared for everyone. How different they were beneath the mask of a smile. How truly loved they were.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away a few days ago. This time, I didn’t expect to know anything about her. But like all the other times, I wish I’d known more.

I found out Friday night while looking through videos for the news. Right there, at the top of the list, was “Remembering Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, dead at 87”. I stared at the title, unable to believe it. I was in shock. Not only because I knew what was coming next, but because I knew how wonderful she was. Of course, as everyone finds something good to say about her, I’ve learned so much more.

My favorite story about her was one of the Supreme Court cases she argued for the ACLU. She said “I knew that I was speaking to men who didn’t think there was any such thing as gender-based discrimination and my job was to tell them it really exists”. And she won that case. Like trying to convince blind men that there were problems in the world they couldn’t see.

I wrote Remembering a Bright Glow in memory of her. That extraordinary person that changed the world, making it a better place for millions. No matter what happens next, we must never forget her.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

Many of my friends are stubborn, specifically when it comes to accepting help. They insist they don’t want my help, whether paying for something or reaching something on a high shelf. At least when watching them reach a high shelf, I’ve learned to sit back and watch, providing commentary as needed.

I’m well off enough in life, and I like to help people. So I’d offer to pay for something, usually a meal. Arguing over the check is simply something my family does, my mom and grandma in particular, so it always seemed natural to me.

As often happens when I emerge from my bubble, I learned that this isn’t exactly a normal thing. In particular, I learned that my friends don’t want me to pay for anything, because they want to do it themselves.

I wrote I’m Here If You Need Me as a reflection back on this. Especially in a time when everyone needs help (For those reading this in the future and don’t know to what I’m referring, look up COVID-19). I’m still available to help people, but I know better than to try helping them before they ask. So now I’m saying “I’m here if you need me”.

And I always will be.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

One night at FBC open mic, as I was heading up to the stage, my friend Tim, who was up after me, jokingly asked me to stall. I said “Yeah, I’ll read the dictionary or something”.

That got me thinking, as I often do when it comes to poetry. Random thoughts dig in and make me wonder about what I can do with them. This time, I wondered if I could write a poem as a series of dictionary entries.

I sat down one day later that week, grabbed my dictionary and thesaurus, and started flipping through them. I had the idea in my head for another parenting poem. As I found the entries, I jotted them down, then set to work getting them to rhyme.

Some of the entries in Responsibilities are straight out of the dictionary or thesaurus. Others were tweaked a little to get them to rhyme. In the end, I had a dictionary poem. Not only did I have that, but I had a reminder of what’s important in life. Taking care of my family, keeping them entertained, and keeping a roof over our heads were all part of it.

Never dismiss any idea you have when writing. You never know when it might lead to something new.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA

In February 2020, my friend Mike celebrated his 60th birthday. On my way there, I thought “I should’ve written a poem for it”. Of course, that thought was immediately followed by the start of a poem. It laid dormant in my head for a little while as I continued processing it.

While I was there, Mike asked if I’d written a poem for him, because he loves my poetry. I said I hadn’t, but didn’t mention the one forming in my head. While his son Bobby played music, I continued processing, then slowly started to write.

About an hour later, I flagged Bobby down and asked if I could steal the mic for a moment. He also knows my poetry, so he agreed. Up at the mic, I said, “Mike asked me earlier if I had a poem, and I said I didn’t. Now I do.”

That poem was Part of the Family. I’ve noticed over the years that one doesn’t simply become friends with Mike, or his wife Laura, or their children. They welcome you into the family. Laura would always bring food to open mic, offering it to anyone that sat with them. Every one of Bobby’s friends that came by was welcomed by all of them with open arms.

It’s been a privilege to be welcomed into their family the same way.

#StoryBehind

© 2023 Sky Starlight CC BY-NC-SA